I am sitting in Starbucks, drinking overpriced coffee, using their wifi because mine is disconnected at home. Does this make me BoHo because I’m wearing clogs and a peasant blouse and ordered the trendy Flat White? Or, because I’m middle aged and not wearing make up, am I pathetic and infringing on the territory of the upwardly mobile & credit card rich? At least I’m not at one of the “coffee houses” where they have open mic nights, and tables painted like chess boards, and regulars, who wave each other over every time the door opens & have their own ironic mugs on an antique book case.
The Starbucks wall is painted with a world map outlining coffee growing regions. I have decided I am not sufficiently pretentious enough to appreciate this, mainly because the descriptions of the coffees are like reading the meringue flavors at a pricey gourmet shop. “Sparkling with citrus and bright acidity….” Hunh? I have never noticed the citrus flavor in my latte. “Elegant and refined with layers of unfolding flavor-lemon, chocolate and soft spice” Fuck, my wedding cake wasn’t even described as well. (Then again, my wedding wasn’t very fancy; it involved a keg and my grandfather in a bathing suit at the reception. It also ended more truck stop coffee than Frappacino- finished the cup, realized it wasn’t that great, put a dollar on the counter, and waved goodbye, drawling “kiss my grits” on the way out.)
Ok, ok, ok… I fess up. I like Starbucks coffe. And besides I had a gift card leftover from Chrismas….